Harry Potter and the Army of Killer Carrots
by ickle-princess
Summary: The carrots of Hogwarts are coming alive and have made an army! Harry must build an army to fight back, but several unexpected things happen along the way!
1. Pranking Snape is Fun

**Harry Potter and the Army of Killer Carrots.**

**AN: Hello everyone, this is the sequel to my first story 'Dumbledore and the Pie' so you might want to read that before you start reading this story. Anyway I hope to make this story just as funny as Dumbledore and the pie, to be honest I not completely sure what going to happen in this but I have a rough idea. I thought of this story randomly when I was playing with my little sister. So I hope you enjoy this…**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING WHAT SO EVER TO DO WITH HARRY POTTER**

**Warning: Contains Dumbledore and the pie spoilers… lol**

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_1 week after Dumbledore was eaten by a Dragon._

Harry, Hermione and Ron were slowly making their way to the great hall for their dinner, a week had passed now since Dumbledore had left them and since then 'the castle of pies' had its original name back since Professor Mcgonagall had become 'Hogwarts' new head mistress. The Kingdom of Pies had its name back as well and the Oompa Loompas had all disappeared in a poof of smoke as soon as Dumbledore died.

The golden trio all sat down at the Gryfindor table and Ron began loading his plate with pie showing his delight that he was able to eat pie again.

But one thing was different with Hogwarts, which was not there before Dumbledore went loopy, and this is the fact that since Dumbledore went, it seemed like a constant storm cloud hung over the head of every Hogwarts student.

"This pie really is amazing, I guess I never realised how much I missed pie until now," said Ron in a daze.

"Honestly Ron now you have finished growing upwards you will start growing outwards if you carry on eating like that, and then you will never win a girls heart over," said Hermione sweetly but with a slight smirk on her face.

"I, ummm, shut it Hermione," grumbled Ron who had turned a deep shade of crimson.

Hermione turned round to face Harry. "Harry, have you finished your charms homework yet?" she said. But Harry wasn't concentrating on what Hermione had said his eyes were set firmly on the teacher's table, Hermione followed his gaze and snorted then burst out laughing.

People turned to look at the teachers table to see what was so funny and joined in laughing.

Professor Snape was eating and unaware of the attention of the entire great hall was on him. Snape's hair had turned bright pink, and instead of his plain black robes he was wearing bright pink robes to match his hair which flashed statements like: _I am an ugly git… I like to wear ladies underwear… I am fatter than a sumo wrestler… I haven't washed my greasy hair in 2 centuries… if I was in a beauty contest with a pig the pig would win by miles. _(You can think of some more funny things it can say)

Also he was unaware of the pie hanging above his head, then a cloud appeared above his head saying things that he _could _be thinking, for example the thought that had just appeared was: _This thong is giving me a wedgie. _Just after this thought appeared Snape winced, by now the entire great hall were roaring with laughter including most of the staff table.

Snape looked down at his robes and a turned as pink as his robes, he stood up looking furious, he then looked up and saw the message about the thong and turned even redder, then the pie that was hanging over his head suddenly fell smack on his face. He roared with fury.

"Alright, who ever did this will pay," shouted Snape while wiping the pie off his face in disgust.

"But Severus, you cant possibly blame a student for doing this," said Professor Mcgonagall pretending to looked shocked.

"Oh yes I can and do you want to know who I think it was?" spat Snape.

"Oh who?" said Professor Mcgonagall cheekily, which shocked everyone. Was Professor Mcgonagall flirting with Snape?

"POTTER DETENTION FOR A MONTH, TOMORROW NIGHT, MY OFFICE, 7 O'CLOCK," screamed Snape.

"Now really Severus you cant blame Potter he is completely innocent." Said Minerva.

"I can and I will," said Snape before turning and striding out the great hall slamming the doors behind him.

"Wow Harry, that was an amazing prank you should be put in Hogwarts a History for that," said Ron turning to Harry.

"It wasn't me though," said Harry looking confused.

"Of course it wasn't you Harry, come on I want an early night and you still need to finish your Charms homework," said Hermione.

"Oh do we have to," Ron pouted looking like a 5 year old.

"Yes, we do and if your going to act like you're a five year old…" Hermione looked at her watch. "You should have been in bed half an hour ago, come on time for bed ickle Ronnikins," said Hermione putting on her Mrs. Weasley voice.

Ron glared at Hermione and went to stand next to her. They both turned round to face Harry who was looking at a plate of carrots weirdly.

"Are you coming Harry?" said Hermione.

"Hermione, I think that carrot just moved."

**AN: Okay what do you think? Was it funny enough? Big thanks to everyone who reviewed my other story and I hope you will do the same with this one. Also I want to bring 1 or maybe more characters back from the dead so can you please tell me who I should bring back out of:**

Sirius

James

Lily

Dumbledore

or Cedric

**Or if you don't want anyone to come back say so! Or I suppose I could always make a new character. Anyway just tell me what you think, cause I want you opinion! Please keep reading. And by the way Snape and Minerva arent getting together. Please keep reading...**

**Love**

**Ickle-princess**

**xxx**


	2. Carrots, Lollipops and big bags of candy

**AN: Hi everyone, Wow im updating really quickly! Lol, big thanks to krazykiwigirl27 and The choco-holic this chapter is for you two, seeing as no one else is reading my story lol. I making this chapter up as I go along but I know what's going to happen at the end! R&R**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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Last Chapter

"_Are you coming Harry?" said Hermione._

"_Hermione I think that carrot just moved."_

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Hermione looked at Harry weirdly. "Harry, first this is Hogwarts it's a school of MAGIC, and second I'm sure its was a flick of the light, I mean carrots cant move."

"Hermione, im telling the truth I'm sure that, that carrot just moved."

Hermione slowly walked over to the plate of carrots looking annoyed and peered at the plate of carrots, as she did this a carrot stood up and blew a raspberry in her face. Hermione stepped back looking very annoyed.

"Oh my god that carrot just moved," said Hermione looking flustered.

"Hermione, Ron want bed," Ron whined.

"Oh Ron, stop acting like a 5 year old now, its getting on my nerves," snapped Hermione.

"Okay," said Ron in his normal voice.

Hermione turned back round to face Harry. "Okay Hogwart's carrots have come alive, now what do we do?"

"I was just about to ask you the same question," said Harry.

"Okay, we are going to tell Professor Mcgonagall," replied Hermione trying to stay calm.

Hermione, Ron and Harry walked out the great hall and were about to head to the heads office when they were distracted by something, something that was so, so scary you wanted to hide behind a pillow! Yup it was that scary.

"Lollipop, lollipop, lolly, lolly, lollipop," sang Snape as he skipped around the entrance hall now wearing a little pink party dress and swinging around a basket on one arm and was throwing around little red lollipops.

"Okay," Harry laughed. "Who ever is doing this to Snape, I'm going to send them a humongous bag of all the sweets in the world, because this is amazing."

"And I will knit them a pair of socks," said Dobby who had appeared from nowhere.

"So, this humongous bag of sweets, you do know that I don't like peppermint and strawberry frogs right?"

Harry spun round to see who was speaking; there in front of him was Sirius Black who had just come out from behind a tapestry.

"I, I, I, Sirius?" said Harry weakly.

"Yeah, and Dobby about those socks can I decide the design on them, you know, I was thinking of pink fluffy bunnies, what do you think?" said Sirius turning to Dobby.

"Hey, because there were two of us involved in this prank does that mean we get a bag of candy each or do we have to share? Oh and on my socks can i have little snitches that fly around?"

Harry spun around again, to see his Dad, who had just appeared out nowhereness.

"Oh my God," whispered Harry before fainting and falling to the ground.

"What did I do?" said James, looking confused.

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**AN: I know it was quite short but at least I updated, so what do you think? Did I bring the right people back? There still may be more to come back as well. Thanks for reading,**

**Love**

**Ickle-princess**

**xxx **


	3. Silly little arguments

**AN: Hi people, big thanks to krazykiwigirl27 and choco-holic for reviewing. I will try and make this chapter as long as possible, because the 2nd chapter was really short. I hope you enjoy this chapter, please R&R.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own anything to do with Harry Potter.**

Last Chapter

_Harry spun around again, to see his Dad, who had just appeared out nowhere-ness._

"_Oh my God," whispered Harry before fainting and falling to the ground._

"_What did I do?" said James, looking confused._

"Harry… Harry… Harry come back Harry, wake-up," sang Ron in a weird spooky voice.

Harry groaned and slowly sat up, and looked to his side, Ron was smiling at him with his goofy smile.

"Hello Harry," he said.

"Hi Ron, what was with the, _Harry come back Harry, wake-up?_" said Harry.

"I thought it sounded cool," said Ron.

"Well it doesn't, what happened anyway?"

"Well it was a warm summers night and…"

"Ron I don't need the introduction, okay."

"Fine, well we came out the great hall, Snape was dancing around the entrance hall singing, _Lollipop, lollipop, lolly, lolly, lollipop, _and then… well urm," said Ron. "Hermione help me."

Harry looked to the other side of the bed to see Hermione smiling down on him.

"And then Sirius appeared from behind a tapestry and the your Dad appeared and you fainted," said Hermione casually.

"I fainted?" asked Harry.

"Yup"

"Cool," exclaimed Harry.

"Harry," said Hermione looking shocked, "fainting is NOT cool, it's horrible."

"It's cool if it gets you out of awkward conversations with to people that happened to be dead," Harry pointed out.

"True," Hermione agreed.

Just then Sirius came bouncing into the hospital wing with James following behind him, both were wearing cheeky grins on their faces.

"What have you done now?" said Hermione straight away.

"Well good afternoon sunshine, how are you feeling, oh and when do I get my candy?" said Sirius ignoring Hermione's question and looking slightly… well very mental indeed for a boy that hadn't had any sweets for a long, long time.

Harry fainted again and fell back into his bed, well actually pretended to faint again.

"Harry, stop it, I know you haven't really fainted," said a slightly agitated Hermione.

"I have fainted," said Harry opening one eye and sticking out his tongue.

"Really, I didn't know people could talk after they had fainted." Hermione pointed out.

"I'm not speaking," said Harry.

"You just spoke then."

"No I didn't."

"You just spoke again then as well."

"I did not speak." By now Harry was sat up right in his bed glaring at Hermione.

"Ha you didn't faint."

"Yes I did."

"Then why are you sat up arguing with me?"

"I'm not sat up and arguing with you."

"Well it looks like you're sat up arguing with me."

"I am not arguing with you."

"Yes you are."

"No im not."

"See your arguing with me now about arguing with me."

Harry paused thinking what he should say.

"No I'm not," Harry finally said.

"Arrggghhh, yes you are."

"What are we talking about?"

"Harry, mate, you fainted," interrupted Ron.

"Oh yeah." Harry fell back down into bed and pretended to faint again.

Hermione sighed. "Honestly, I can never win."

"Actually, you win 9/10 arguments you have with me and Harry," said Ron logically.

"Since when did you sound so smart?" said Hermione.

"Since 10 seconds ago," replied Ron.

"So has Harry fainted or what cause I'm getting hungry?" interrupted Sirius.

"Honestly Sirius, this is the first time I have ever met my son and all you can think about is your stomach," said James.

"It is not the first time you have met your son, you knew him when he was one." Interrupted Sirius.

"Yes, but he couldn't speak when he was one," said James.

"Yes he could, he could say Padfoot," teased Sirius.

"Actually it was more like, pa-foo which is not exactly the same a Padfoot," argued James.

"Your just jealous because he couldn't say Prongs he said _Progs," _said Sirius. "Hello _Progs."_

"Guys, if you have finished arguing over what Harry could and couldn't say at one, can we please go and get some food?" interrupted Ron.

"Fine," sighed both Sirius and James.

"So could Harry say Pie and one, cause that was my first word?" said Ron.

"RON," shouted Harry from his bed.

"Yes?" Said Ron.

"Could you save me some PIE?" shouted Harry.

"I asked if you could say pie at the age of one not 17," Ron shouted back. "And you pronounced Pie wrong."

"No I didn't." replied Harry.

"Hey Harry's awake, Harry's awake, Harry's awake, Harry's AWAKE," sang Sirius.

"Come on Sirius, time to get food," said James pulling Sirius out the Hospital wing by his ear.

"Oow, Oow, Oow, Oow," sang Sirius as he shuffled along behind James.

"Remember my PIE," shouted Harry.

"HARRY." Shouted Sirius.

James let go of Sirius's ear and smiled. "My little baby said three words, all together, he said 'Remember my pie."

"Well done for realising and he's 17," Sirius pointed out.

"Shut it," snapped James.

"Come on you guys or all the good food will be gone," said Ron poking his head around the doorway.

"Okay," said James and Sirius together.

"Remember my Pie," Harry shouted again.

"Harry spoke again," said James. Ron looked at James weirdly.

"You don't say."

"Watch out for the carrots," Harry shouted.

"We will," Ron shouted dragging both Sirius and James out.

**AN: So what do you think? I no nothing much happened but I hope it was funny enough. Please review.**

**Love**

**Ickle-princess**

**xxx **


	4. Baby'sitting

**AN: Hello everyone! Big thankies to xDeadForeverx, noone and krazykiwigirl, you all rock. I am dedicating this chapter to the almighty PIE! My life wouldn't be the same without you!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter :(**

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Last Chapter

"_Harry spoke again," said James. Ron looked at James weirdly._

"_You don't say."_

"_Watch out for the carrots," Harry shouted._

"_We will," Ron shouted dragging both Sirius and James out._

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"Harry, I bought you back some pie," Ron called as he walked into the hospital wing.

There was no reply.

"Harry, where are you? I bought the pie you asked for."

Madam Pomfrey walked briskly out of her office, "Mr. Weasley, what are you doing here?"

"I came to bring Harry the pie that I saved him," said Ron nervously.

"Oh, and what kind of pie is it?" said Madam Pomfrey looking very interested in the pie.

"The pie-ish kind of pie," said Ron looking uncertain.

"Well I will keep it in my office and give it to Mr. Potter when he comes back," said Pomfrey trying to get the pie from Ron's hands.

"Are you sure?" Said Ron.

"Oh course," Madam Pomfrey finally got the pie from Ron's hands and walked back to her office.

"Okay," said Ron slowly, then walked out the hospital wing.

Later on that day.

Ron and Hermione were sat in the Gryfindor common doing their most recent homework when Harry stormed into the Gryfindor common and glared at Ron.

"Oh hello Harry, when did madam Pomfrey let you out the hospital wing?" Said Hermione happily.

Harry ignored Hermione and continued glaring at Ron. "Where is my Pie?" He said through gritted teeth.

"Oh I gave it to madam Pomfrey, didn't she give it you?" said Ron looking confuzzled.

"No, but you could tell she just ate a pie," said Harry glumly, sitting down next to Ron.

"Oh, that sucks," said Ron.

"Yeah it does," replied Harry.

"Hey Harry, aren't you late for your detention with Snape?" said Hermione looking at a clock.

"Oh dammit I forgot." Said Harry looking at his watch. "I've got to go, see you soon."

Harry ran out of the common room and headed to the dungeons.

In Snape's office.

Harry skidded to a halt in front of Snape's office door 5 minutes later and knocked on the door and waited to be let in.

"Come in."

Harry walked into Snape's office but suddenly stopped, Sirius and James were sat on the floor playing with little mini toy cars.

"Brum, brum, brum," sang Sirius as he made his toy car drive around Snapes feet.

"Uuum what's this all about?" asked Harry looking around the room, which seemed to have been decorated. Instead of the normal cold grey walls the walls were pink with pictures of moving bunny rabbits. And instead of the stone floor was pink fluffy carpet.

"Oh this, Lily asked me to baby-sit them while she went out," said Snape shooing Sirius away.

Aren't they old enough to look after themselves?" said Harry, looking at James who was sat cross-legged singing himself a nursery rhyme.

"Yes, but do you think they ACT old enough?" said Snape now glaring at James.

"Urm, no," said Harry. "So uumm my detention."

"You wont be having one, seeing as it was not you that played the prank on me," Snape glared at the both James and Sirius again.

"I want my pie," screamed Sirius loudly. Snape winced.

"I no, but your not getting one," Snape replied grumpily.

Both Sirius and James started screaming really loudly.

"Shut up both of you," screamed Snape.

They continued.

"Potter," Snape turned to face Harry. "I cant do this anymore, please take them away, and if you do I will promise never to be mean to you again."

Harry looked shocked, Snape, the evil professor Snape was being nice to the famous Harry Potter.

"But where would I take them?"

"Anywhere but here."

"Okay, come on you two," said Harry.

Harry walked out the door and Sirius and James crawled after him.

"You know, you can walk now," said Harry.

"Siri want to crawl," insisted Sirius.

"Fine."

When they reached the 5th floor James and Sirius finally collapsed and leant against the wall.

"Where are you taking us anyway?" said James in his normal voice.

"You said you wanted pie, I'm taking you to pie," said Harry slowly.

"But this isn't the way to the kitchens," said Sirius.

"That's cause I'm not taking you to the kitchens," said Harry as he continued to walk. James and Sirius reluctantly followed.

When they reached the room of requirement they stopped.

"Where's the pie?" said Sirius eagerly.

"Wait there," instructed Harry.

Harry started walking back and forth in front of the room of requirement thinking _I need a room full of pie… I need a room full of pie… I need a room full of Pie._

"James, i think your son has gone mad, he keeps walking back and forth infront of that wall," said Sirius watching Harry.

"You know Sirius for once I think i agree with you," replied James who was also watching Harry.

Harry stopped as a door appeared, he walked over to the door and opened it and Sirius and James followed Harry. Behind the door was another door, on this door was a plaque saying 'This room is property of Albus Dumbledore, King of all Pies.'

"Hehehe," giggled Sirius. "Dumbledore's gone loopy.

Harry smiled and opened the door, and all 3 were hit with the smell of freshly cooked pies. James and Sirius quickly pushed past Harry and began greedily eating all the pies within their arm span.

"James, can I ask you something?" Said Harry slowly.

"Sure as long as I can eat pie at the same time."

"Well Snape, he mentioned that 'Lily' wanted him to baby-sit, is the Lily he's referring to my mum?" said Harry turning Red.

"Yup, your mum is alive she cant wait to see you, its always Harry this and Harry that, actually makes me feel quite unloved," said James stuffing a pie in his mouth.

"Cool," said Harry grinning like an idiot. "Is there anyone else that has come back from the dead that I should know about?"

"Yes, but I promised I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Oh."

Sirius yawned. "What would I be without Pie?"

"Well you would be a lot thinner," said James cheekily.

"That's it."

Sirius jumped on top of James and started fighting him. They rolled around on the floor biting, kicking, punching, hitting each other and every other kind of way you can hurt someone without using a wand, which they both forgot about.

Harry started panicking. "Guys, Guys stop killing each other," Harry screamed other Sirius's and James' screaming.

There was a knock on the door, but both James and Sirius ignored it.

"Come in, please, save me," Harry screamed.

Lily walked into the room smiling, but stopped suddenly when she saw the rolled on pie everywhere and James and Sirius fighting.

"That's it boys stop fighting right now or your grounded for a month and you wont have any chocolate for a month as well." Screamed Lily at the top of her voice.

James and Sirius stopped fighting straight away.

"Now get up, both of you."

They both stood up looking very ashamed of themselves.

"Honestly, I leave you with a baby sitter, well it was supposed to be Snape but I think you drove him crazy, but anyway, I leave you with a baby sitter for 2 hours and look what happens, you both end up covered in pastry and apple and you stink like pie." Said Lily.

"You wouldn't say that if you knew who the baby sitter was," said James winking.

Lily looked around the room and saw Harry covered in pie, (from the fight) she smiled and walked over to Harry and gave him a big pie-ish hug. "Harry, how are you?"

"Uum, scared," said Harry looking at James and Sirius.

Lily turned around and looked at them both sternly. "Right you two, of to bed straight away and there's no bed time story for you tonight and no more pies for a week."

James and Sirius burst out crying. "But James wants a bed time story." Screamed James.

Lily sighed and turned back to Harry. "Night Harry, we can speak properly tomorrow when these to boys have had some sleep."

"Okay," replied Harry looking kind of freaked out, well I think if I was in a room full of dead people and was covered in pie I would be scared to.

Lily grabbed James and Sirius' arms and pulled them out the room. "Can I come back?" Sirius asked Lily.

"NO."

"I love you Pie!" screamed Sirius before his head disappeared behind the door.

Harry looked around the room and grinned.

"YEY, now I have the pie all to myself," he said.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," came a scream from down the corridor.

"PIE."

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**AN: And the point of that chapter was? Hehehe, we all love the pie. Big thank you to all my reviewers again. Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Love**

**Ickle-princess**

**Xxx**

**P.S We all love the pie, bow down to the pie, GO PIE.**


	5. Lets make an army

**AN: Hello my faithful readers. Big thank you to xForeverDeadx, The choco-holic, Asteroid225 and Blonde Ravenclaw, I love you all! I wont be able to update for a week because I'm going to stay at my grans and their computer it very slow. I hope you enjoy this chapter, please R&R.**

**Disclaimer: I don't any Harry Potter related things.**

Last Chapter

"_I love you Pie!" screamed Sirius before his head disappeared behind the door._

_Harry looked around the room and grinned._

"_YEY, now I have the pie all to myself," he said._

"_Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo," came a scream from down the corridor._

"_PIE."_

Half and hour later Harry walked back into the Gryfindor common room and collapsed on the sofa nearest the comforting fire.

"Harry, your back," said Hermione, who had just appeared from the girls dormitories. "How was your detention with professor Snape?"

"Well, Snape was going mental because he was baby-sitting James and Sirius, so he begged me to take them away, so I did," said Harry.

"And where did you take them?" said Hermione sitting in a chair facing Harry.

"To the room of requirement."

"Which turned into what?"

"A room full of pies."

"No!" said Hermione looking horrified.

"Yes," said Harry pulling some pastry from his hair.

"Did someone mention pie?" said Ron popping out from behind a tapestry.

"What were you doing behind the tapestry?" said Harry looked confused.

"Yes Ron what were you doing?" added Hermione.

A giant pie with several bites taken out of it walked out from behind the tapestry.

"Have you finished eating me yet?" said the Pie.

"Urm, yes," said Ron

"Fine," the pie strutted out the Gryfindor common room.

Hermione turned to Ron. "You were making out with a talking pie?"

"No, I was EATING a talking pie," corrected Ron.

"Yes, but behind a tapestry?" said Hermione.

"I like some privacy when I eat," replied Ron.

"You guys I think I just saw a carrot," said Harry.

Hermione spun round to face Harry. "Oh my gosh, I forgot about the alive carrots, we got distracted remember. Where did you see it?"

"It just went through the portrait hole."

"Okay we are going to go and see professor Mcgonagull right now," said Hermione walking towards to portrait whole.

Harry and Ron followed behind her.

10 minutes later the trio arrived at the heads office and stopped.

"We don't know the password," said Hermione.

"Its chocolate bunnies," replied Harry casually.

"How do you know that?" said Hermione.

"A young wizard like me needs to know these things," said Harry.

Hermione turned to the gargoyles. "Chocolate bunnies."

The Gargoyle moved aside and the stepped onto the spiral staircase. They reached the door and were let in by a very tired Professor Mcgonagull.

"Sit down," she said wearily.

"Professor we came to tell you about the…" said Hermione.

"I no the alive carrots," interrupted Professor Mcgonagull.

"And," said Hermione pushing the matter.

"I haven't told this to any other students but I can trust you, well I have a few spies and we, being the order, have discovered that someone has formed an army of alive carrots to go against Hogwarts," said Professor Mcgonagull. "And we don't know what to do."

Harry laughed. "For gods sake these are carrots we are talking about, small stupid carrots cant we just stab a knife in them and bang there gone."

"It's not that easy there making giant carrots even bigger than us and at this moment they have a giant army, plus the little carrots are also deadly, they have guns." Replied Minerva.

"Well we just have to make an army against them," said Harry.

"Harry, that's, well brilliant," said Hermione. "But what would our army be made from?"

"PIE," shouted Ron getting excited.

"Brilliant," said Minerva. "We will make an army of pie to help fight against the army of carrots."

"Now all we need to know is who is making the army of carrots and plotting against us." Said Hermione.

"Well that's easy, it's probably an ex-death eater," said Harry.

"Ok, someone go down to the kitchens and inform the house elves to make as many pies as possible and don't stop until I tell them," said Minerva.

"I will go to the kitchens," volunteered Ron. "And while im at it, I will help as well."

"Okay Mr. Weasley but I forbid you to eat any pies though." Said Minerva.

"Okay, the smell is all I need." Said Ron before skipping out the office to the kitchens.

"Okay I will call an order meeting and we can start our plans, and yes Mr. Potter you and Miss. Granger can come to all the meetings and help us in anyway possible." Instructed Minerva.

**AN: So what do you think, I have finally got the plot going. I no the chapter is quite short but my sister is kicking me off the computer so I had to finish it :(**

**Bye for know and please keep reading and reviewing.**

**Love**

**Ickle-princess**

**Xxx**


	6. Voldemort has a what?

**AN: Hello people, took me a while to update this one didn't it? Anyway a big thank you to Colt-Man, KrazyKiwigirl27 and Asteroid225. Im going back to school on Tuesday so when I start school, I will only be-able to update about once a week, stupid school for giving me 3 pieces of homework a day! Anyway please read, enjoy and review.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter related stuff.**

Last Chapter

"_Okay Mr. Weasley but I forbid you to eat any pies though." Said Minerva._

"_Okay, the smell is all I need." Said Ron before skipping out the office to the kitchens._

"_Okay I will call an order meeting and we can start our plans, and yes Mr. Potter you and Miss. Granger can come to all the meetings and help us in anyway possible." Instructed Minerva._

………………………………………………………………………………….

"So your telling us that we are making an army of PIES to fight against a bloody army of carrots that just happen to have guns?" said James raising from his seat. "That's the most stupid thing I have ever heard."

"James calm down, what else do you suggest we do? There's someone out there making an army to kill us, we need an army to, the order isn't big enough to fight the carrots," said Remus calmly.

"Do you know how silly that sounds though, the order isn't strong enough to fight an stupid army of bloody CARROTS," said James looking flustered. "Carrots, a vegetable, a vegetable which we eat."

"I no this is silly James but we have no other choice, and it was your son and his friends that came up with the idea," butted in Minerva.

"Do we know who is plotting against us?" said Remus.

"No, Harry suggested it was an ex-deatheater, but we still can't be to sure," replied Minerva.

"So what now?" said Lily.

"We fight," said Sirius shouted.

In the kitchens.

"Hi Ron, how are the pies coming along?" said Harry walking into the kitchens closely followed by Hermione.

"Ok, they are only little though, I cant think of a spell to make them bigger," replied Ron, looking wistfully at the most recent made batch of pies.

"I can think of a simple charm, but we still have 1 problem," said Hermione.

"What?"

"Where are we going to put 10'000 life sized pies?" said Hermione.

"Chamber of secrets," suggested Harry.

"Not suitable, if we need them quickly," replied Hermione.

"Uum, great hall," said Ron.

"Not big enough."

"School grounds," said Ron.

"Might rain then we will be doomed," said Hermione casually.

"Room of requirement," said Harry.

Silence

"I think, that, might just do," said Hermione smiling. "Ok, I will put a spell of life on them, so they can follow our instructions, and then I will make them life sized, then we will march them up to the room of requirement."

3 hours later.

"Wow that was tiring," said Hermione flopping down on a seat in the Gryfindor common room.

"Yeah it was," said Ron flopping down next to Hermione.

"You didn't do anything," said Hermione.

"Yeah, I know," said Ron grinning.

"What's up dudes?" Said Sirius walking in and falling into the sofa.

"Uuum, nothing much," replied Harry.

"Guess what," said Sirius, looking like a 3 year old that's just been given candy.

"What?" said the Trio together.

"We know who made the army of carrots."

"Who?"

**AN: Hehehe im so evil, I left it at a cliffy. Ok I wont, carry on reading…**

"Who?" said Harry getting up and walking over to Sirius.

"Voldemorts…" said Sirius

"Voldemort," screamed Hermione. "I thought he was dead!"

"You wouldn't let me finish, it was… Voldemorts son," said Sirius.

"Voldemort has a son." Shouted Harry. "Oh my god who would want a son with Voldemort.

Ron and Harry started uncontrollably laughing, and ended up rolling around on the floor.

"Honestly you two, don't you realise how serious this is, Voldemorts son will hate you Harry and will do anything to hurt you, or even kill you," said a clearly distressed Hermione.

"Yey im going to die… again," said Harry and him and Ron started laughing again.

"D-d-die," stuttered Sirius before fainting and landing on the floor with a thud.

"What's going on we heard mental laughing then screaming then more laughing and the sound of Sirius fainting because Harry said he was going to die," shouted James running into the common room followed by Lily.

"Sirius told us about Voldemorts son," replied Harry.

"Oh, cool," said James. "So who wants to go to the library?"

Harry, Ron and Lily stared at James gob smacked.

"The Library?" said Ron weakly.

Hermione smiled brightly. "Great come on you to." Hermione skipped towards to portrait hole closely followed by James (who was also skipping).

"Wait," said Harry. "What about Sirius?"

James looked at Sirius and shrugged. "Just leave him there, he will wake up… eventually."

"Ok," said Ron smiling and skipping over to the portrait hole to.

"The world is coming to an end," said Harry shaking his head.

At the library.

"So Harry," said Lily. "What you reading?"

"Uum 100 sexiest witches," replied Harry looking at the front cover.

"Is that really a book?" asked Lily.

"Let me see that," said James making a grab for the book. "Hey, there are no sexy witches in this."

"I know cause it's really top 100 sexiest pies," said Harry grinning.

"Let me see that," said Ron grabbing the book from James' hands. "Hey there are no sexy pies in this."

"I know," said Harry. "Cause it's a…"

"Don't want to know," interrupted Lily.

"I want to know," said James pouting.

"Okay it's a…"

"Harry."

"So who's hungry," said Harry.

"Freeze and put yours hands in the air," came a voice from on the floor.

Everyone started looking frantically around.

"I'm down here," sighed the voice.

They looked down and saw a small army of 6 carrots standing on the floor all holding mini guns.

"Hey what's that your holding?" said Ron looking down at the guns. A carrot shot an mini carrot out of its mini gun which hit Ron on his hand.

"Ooow, ooow, oow that hurt," whimpered Ron cradling his hand.

"What do you want?" said Harry bravely.

"We are kidnapping you," replied the head carrot.

"Great now im being kidnapped by an army of 6 bloody carrots," said James.

"You're not taking us anywhere," said Hermione.

There was a snap and all of them had their hands cuffed together.

"Why you little…" said James.

There was a pop and they all disappeared from the library.

"Hey, where are we?" said James.

"You are at…"

**AN: So what do you think? I tried to make it as long as possible, and I am really stopping it here, lol. Please review and tell me what you think to the whole Voldemorts has a son thing. Love you all,**

**Love**

**Ickle-princess**

**xxx**


	7. We must save him!

AN: Hello everyone. Sorry I haven't updated in ages but I just get soooo much homework and when I do go on the computer, I spend my time reading not writing, anyways hope you enjoy this chapter, its not brilliant, it's a bit cheesy because I made it to over dramatic, lol, please R&R!

**Disclaimer: I don't own any thing to do with Harry Potter!**

Warning: I am rating this chapter- T- due to one use of bad language. Also rating for story is going up to- T – I think, just to be safe.

Last Chapter 

_There was a pop and they all disappeared from the library._

"_Hey, where are we?" said James._

"_You are at…"_

"You are at Deaths Den," replied the chief carrot.

"And where is Deaths Den?" asked James.

"I don't know," said the chief carrot, "I think its in Alaska."

"And where is Alaska?" asked Ron slowly, Hermione glared at him.

"Its in North America," snapped Hermione.

"Ooh, I've never been to North America before," said James, acting like a hyped 3 year old.

"Yes you have!" exclaimed Lily glaring at James.

"When?" asked James.

"On our Honeymoon," said Lily.

"We had a honeymoon?" said James looking confused.

"Oh my god, my own husband cant remember our honeymoon!" cried Lily in frustration.

"Im sorry, but… we're married?" said James slowly.

"Yes, why else would I be wearing a ring on my wedding finger?" said Lily.

"Because it looks pretty!" said James with a grin.

"Mum… Dad, another time please," interrupted Harry, glaring at them both. (Woot! The power of glaring!)

"Im a… Dad?" said James nervously.

Lily whacked him round the head with her cuffed hands. James cursed under his breath and rubbed the back of his head.

"Now that was uncalled for," cursed James.

"Sir carrot Buddlington, mini master is ready to see the prisoners," said a carrot walking in to the small room they were in.

Carrot Buddlington lead them down a long, dark corridor, Harry jogged up to him.

"Who is this 'Mini' master?" asked Harry.

"Well our 'master' was the dark lord, but because someone," he glared at Harry, "Killed him, we call his son the mini master."

"And does your mini master want to kill me as much as your old master did?" asked Harry.

"Harry! That's a horrible thing to say," exclaimed Hermione.

"We have arrived," said Carrot Buddlington, "Mini master is ready to see you." They stopped at some big, grand oak doors.

"Enter," said a bone-chilling voice from inside the room.

They walked inside the room in silence, and there on a throne in the middle of the room, sat Voldemort's son, he looked a lot like his father but he had hair, a nose and slightly more normal eyes.

"Baa, my guests have arrived," said mini Voldemort spreading out his arms.

"Im sorry but did you just say, 'Baa' my guests have arrived," said Sirius.

"What are you doing here Sirius, I thought you were knocked out in the Gryfindor common room?" said James.

"Yeah, but then I heard that all the action was happening in the library, so I thought I would tag along, you know, see what would happen," said Sirius.

"Excuse me," interrupted mini Voldemort, "Uum, I said Baa because, im, urm, half sheep."

"Haaa, half sheep, funny joke," laughed Sirius, "That explains he fluffy hair."

"Sirius, shut up," whispered Lily nudging him in the side.

"Oow," said Sirius, as he doubled over in pain.

"What do you want with us?" said Harry boldly.

"Revenge Harry, sweet, sweet, Revenge," said mini Voldemort with a sickly smile.

"But why are these here?" asked Harry gesturing to Hermione, Ron and co.

"Well, they just tagged along for the ride," said mini Voldemort.

"Exactly," said Sirius with a grin.

"Let them go," ordered Harry.

"Okay, but on one condition," said mini Voldemort.

"What?" said Harry.

"You stay," said mini Voldemort, stretching out a thin, sickly white hand.

"NOOO, HARRY DON'T!" screamed Hermione, as she was held back by to Carrots.

"Agreed," said Harry shaking mini Voldemorts hand.

"NOOOOOOO," cried Hermione as they were dragged out the room.

"WAIT!" shouted Sirius.

"What is it?" snapped mini Voldemort.

"If your like, half sheep, does that mean you like grass?" said Sirius.

"Yes, well, im not that keen on it when its dry but its quite nice when its moist…. Hey, aaarrggghh, just get out of my sight before I change my mind."

When they were dragged out of sight Voldemort turned to Harry. "And by the way, please, call me Voldemort."

"You will send them back to Hogwarts, straight away?" asked Harry uncertainly.

"Yes, yes, of course, they are back right… now." Said Voldemort. "Please, sit down." He waved his hand and a wooden chair appeared from nowhere. They both sat down.

"How can I help you get revenge?" said Harry.

"A new prophecy has been made," said Voldemort smirking. Harry groaned. "yes Harry a new prophecy."

"And what does it say?" asked Harry not really wanting the answer.

"I haven't heard it all, but from what I know it is a fight between me and you again, but wait, this time you are given a new power, and I have reasons to believe this new power is a human, maybe even a … friend," spat Voldemort.

"No," whispered Harry.

"Oh Yes, but me, nooo, im given no power, but oh well I have enough power in me to destroy you and your little friend."

"What are you going to do with me?"

"Im going to leave you to rot in a tiny little cell, all by yourself, and well, soon enough, you will go crazy, and when I find your friend they might as well be given the same fate as you."

"YOU SICK, EVIL, TWISTED BASTARD!" Screamed Harry as he was dragged out the room.

"Yes, you could say I am, baa, see you in hell, Harry Potter," said Voldemort to Harry as his feet disappeared behind the door. "Baa, damn, my sheepish ways."

Back at Hogwarts, in the library.

"Where have you guys been?" said Ginny as she ran into the library. "I've been looking everywhere for you, I need to speak to Harry, its important." Everyone looked down sadly.

"Where is Harry?" asked Ginny slowly, "What happened, someone tell me."

"We were kidnapped by the followers of Voldemorts son," began Hermione.

"You mean the carrots?" said Ginny.

"Yes, well, Harry made an agreement with Voldemorts son, if we go back to hogwarts safely… he stays." Said Hermione.

"No," whispered Ginny.

"Im sorry Ginny." Said Lily, giving her a hug.

"Well, we need to do something, we need to save him," said Ginny bravely.

"But who do we go to?" said Hermione.

"I know just the person," said James.

Sirius looked at him weirdly. "You mean…"

"Yes."

"Lets go," said Sirius. They all followed Sirius to the nearest fireplace. James conjured some floo powder and threw it into he flames. He stepped into the fireplace.

"Crystal Palace," said James clearly.

They all followed pursuit and ended up in a white, bright room. They all followed James through several long corridors, when they haulted at a door that was open.

"We need your help," said James. The person got out of a chair that was sat in front of a fireplace. Hermione, Ron and Ginny all gasped.

"Sherbet Lemon, anyone?" said the figure smiling as he peered over his half-moon glasses.

**AN: So what do you think? Can you guess who the mystery person is? Please review and tell me what you think. Im sorry about the rating change, but you cant be too safe!**

**Love**

**Ickle-princess**

**P.s thank you too all my reviewers, come on, lets get some more!**


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